Mom, This is What I Wanna Do When I Grow Up
David Letterman in all his 1980's glory, setting fashion trends for the next several centuries:
Dave Wears the Velcro Suit
Dave Wears the Suit of Magnets
Dave Wears the Sponge Suit
I now have a new answer when people ask me that dreaded question, "If you could have any one job in the world, what would it be."
Even if the good old days were good
Even if the old days were golden days
Even if the good old days were good
The past is a terrible place to live...
- Steve Hogarth
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
Empty Calories: McDonald's, Def Leppard, and Shaniah Twain
I grew up listening to bands like Def Leppard. Last week, I took a stroll down memory lane and bought a copy of their Adrenalize CD for about three bucks. It had been about 5 years since I'd listened to Def Leppard. In that time, I'd rediscovered grunge, accepted the Radiohead fad, and become more interested in obscure progressive rock bands like Marillion and King Crimson than glam metal.
I sat down to listen to Adrenalize as I ate my double cheeseburger from McDonald's. Needless to say, the cheese flowed liberally in more ways than one. It is amazing how comparable the music of Def Leppard is to a meal from McDonald's. You enjoy the first few bites, or maybe you even wolf down the whole thing. But then a few moments later, your stomach becomes a bit queezy, and you begin to question your judgment and taste. You see, the thing about McDonald's is that it tastes great, and if you go long enough without eating it, you begin to pine away for a big greasy cheese burger. Afterwards you realize you've stuffed yourself, but your body has received no real nutritional benefit.
And such is the music of Def Leppard. Oh, don't get me wrong. This has to be some of the most brilliantly produced pop music of all time. Pounding electronic drum beats, shimmery electric guitars, slick vocal harmonies, everything you need to make a great pop/rock song is there. Catchy is hardly the word to describe it. It's more like infectious. This is the kind of music that begs you to turn your car speakers up to ridiculous volumes. All this, and the drummer only has ONE arm! You can't beat that.
However... Joe Elliot has to have the most ridiculously affected vocal style aside from Creed's Scott Stapp. This is British campiness at its best. The whole thing is sugary sweet, like putting extra sugar on Frosted Flakes sweet. Layers upon layers of processed vocals are smothered all over the sing along choruses. But that only serves to accentuate the lyrics. A word of caution: when Def Leppard uses the word "love" in their songs, they aren't really talking about love at all, if you know what I mean. "If it pleases you it pleases me." Don't be fooled, this has nothing to do with self-sacrifice. This stuff is pure hedonism. Ah, but its all couched in the best (and I do mean best) of power ballad open heartedness. So when Elliot sings "Stand up for love!" with all seriousness and emotion, you kind of just feel nauseated.
But still, the whole thing has just enough believability to keep me listening for a weekend straight (I think my fever broke this morning). And it has enough charisma to sell about 150 million plus CDs worldwide. You see, the person largely responsible for Def Leppard's glorious "sound" is producer Mutt Lange. Now, even if you've never heard Def Leppard, chances are you've heard Mutt Lange. In addition to producing AC/DC, Brian Adams and The Corrs, Mutt Lang is married to the ostentatious Shaniah Twain.
Oh, and he makes her music too. If you listen closely, you begin to realize that Shaniah Twain is little more than Def Leppard with a country twist. It really is remarkable. Lange took a sound that had become dated, unfashionable, and hokey with rock fans, and turned his struggling, country-ditty singing sweetheart into the highest selling female artist ever. Certainly the whole midriff thing helps. But I've gotta think that somehwere deep down in the world's musical psyche, there is a hunger for the pounding, anthemic overtones of the Def Leppard/Mutt Lange sound.
Shaniah may be a nobody right now. The Leppard might be old and toothless. But in about 10 years, Lange will resurrect his sound with some new musical prodigy, and the whole thing will begin anew. "Try to stop this thing coming." I dare you.
All I wanna do is take a ride into the blue
Every time I wanna rock I'm stuck inside my room
Heaven knows I'm sick and tired of dancing with this broom
Do you wanna get rocked?
- Def Leppard
I grew up listening to bands like Def Leppard. Last week, I took a stroll down memory lane and bought a copy of their Adrenalize CD for about three bucks. It had been about 5 years since I'd listened to Def Leppard. In that time, I'd rediscovered grunge, accepted the Radiohead fad, and become more interested in obscure progressive rock bands like Marillion and King Crimson than glam metal.
I sat down to listen to Adrenalize as I ate my double cheeseburger from McDonald's. Needless to say, the cheese flowed liberally in more ways than one. It is amazing how comparable the music of Def Leppard is to a meal from McDonald's. You enjoy the first few bites, or maybe you even wolf down the whole thing. But then a few moments later, your stomach becomes a bit queezy, and you begin to question your judgment and taste. You see, the thing about McDonald's is that it tastes great, and if you go long enough without eating it, you begin to pine away for a big greasy cheese burger. Afterwards you realize you've stuffed yourself, but your body has received no real nutritional benefit.
And such is the music of Def Leppard. Oh, don't get me wrong. This has to be some of the most brilliantly produced pop music of all time. Pounding electronic drum beats, shimmery electric guitars, slick vocal harmonies, everything you need to make a great pop/rock song is there. Catchy is hardly the word to describe it. It's more like infectious. This is the kind of music that begs you to turn your car speakers up to ridiculous volumes. All this, and the drummer only has ONE arm! You can't beat that.
However... Joe Elliot has to have the most ridiculously affected vocal style aside from Creed's Scott Stapp. This is British campiness at its best. The whole thing is sugary sweet, like putting extra sugar on Frosted Flakes sweet. Layers upon layers of processed vocals are smothered all over the sing along choruses. But that only serves to accentuate the lyrics. A word of caution: when Def Leppard uses the word "love" in their songs, they aren't really talking about love at all, if you know what I mean. "If it pleases you it pleases me." Don't be fooled, this has nothing to do with self-sacrifice. This stuff is pure hedonism. Ah, but its all couched in the best (and I do mean best) of power ballad open heartedness. So when Elliot sings "Stand up for love!" with all seriousness and emotion, you kind of just feel nauseated.
But still, the whole thing has just enough believability to keep me listening for a weekend straight (I think my fever broke this morning). And it has enough charisma to sell about 150 million plus CDs worldwide. You see, the person largely responsible for Def Leppard's glorious "sound" is producer Mutt Lange. Now, even if you've never heard Def Leppard, chances are you've heard Mutt Lange. In addition to producing AC/DC, Brian Adams and The Corrs, Mutt Lang is married to the ostentatious Shaniah Twain.
Oh, and he makes her music too. If you listen closely, you begin to realize that Shaniah Twain is little more than Def Leppard with a country twist. It really is remarkable. Lange took a sound that had become dated, unfashionable, and hokey with rock fans, and turned his struggling, country-ditty singing sweetheart into the highest selling female artist ever. Certainly the whole midriff thing helps. But I've gotta think that somehwere deep down in the world's musical psyche, there is a hunger for the pounding, anthemic overtones of the Def Leppard/Mutt Lange sound.
Shaniah may be a nobody right now. The Leppard might be old and toothless. But in about 10 years, Lange will resurrect his sound with some new musical prodigy, and the whole thing will begin anew. "Try to stop this thing coming." I dare you.
All I wanna do is take a ride into the blue
Every time I wanna rock I'm stuck inside my room
Heaven knows I'm sick and tired of dancing with this broom
Do you wanna get rocked?
- Def Leppard
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
You Mad Dog, Shaven Head, Bottle-Boy Freaks!
The theme of the day is things you'll never be able to use in normal conversation. Such as the title phrase. It's a beautiful and heartfelt rant. But I don't really know anybody that fits the description. Alas, I'll probably never get to use it... much like Jerry Stiller's Festivus greeting in Seinfeld, "I've got a lot of problems with you people."
How about thouse big, ostentatious words (like ostentatious) that rattle around in your head while you're internally dialoging with yourself? You use them quite confidently with yourself, as if you were assured of their meaning and no other word in the human language could express your thought as well. My word is cognizant. I use it all the time to myself, as if I'm cognizant of the fact that my subconscious is screaming at me to use it in public. People would certainly be impressed by my using such a word. But the opportunity never quite seems to arise. By the way, who knew there was a "z" in cognizant?
Then there are some situations that call for a double negative, a subject/verb disagreement, mixed tense, or some other non-linear gramatical expression. Today's is, "used to was," because that is the truth. I woke up this morning and was cognizant of the fact that it is colder than it used to was. It is not just colder than it is, it is colder than it was. "Be" sort of carries the idea of something that is now. Obviously, the phrase "used to" makes up for it. But saying it my way emphasizes the fact that non-cold weather exists only in the past and was extremely transient in nature. It didn't just "used to be," it "used to was." See the difference? I give you permission to use logically incoherent phraseology at least once today.
One off topic thing to touch on before I go. If you have any dreams involving me sitting on the roof enjoying the view while on acid and hiding from society, please do let me know. I don't know how, but I fear such visions may really concern me and my wellbeing. Friends let friends know about that kind of stuff.
No sleep no sleep no sleep no sleep
And no mad video machine to eat time
A city scene I can't explain
The Seine alone at 4am, the Seine alone at 4am
Neal and Jack and me
Absent lovers, absent lovers...
- King Crimson
The theme of the day is things you'll never be able to use in normal conversation. Such as the title phrase. It's a beautiful and heartfelt rant. But I don't really know anybody that fits the description. Alas, I'll probably never get to use it... much like Jerry Stiller's Festivus greeting in Seinfeld, "I've got a lot of problems with you people."
How about thouse big, ostentatious words (like ostentatious) that rattle around in your head while you're internally dialoging with yourself? You use them quite confidently with yourself, as if you were assured of their meaning and no other word in the human language could express your thought as well. My word is cognizant. I use it all the time to myself, as if I'm cognizant of the fact that my subconscious is screaming at me to use it in public. People would certainly be impressed by my using such a word. But the opportunity never quite seems to arise. By the way, who knew there was a "z" in cognizant?
Then there are some situations that call for a double negative, a subject/verb disagreement, mixed tense, or some other non-linear gramatical expression. Today's is, "used to was," because that is the truth. I woke up this morning and was cognizant of the fact that it is colder than it used to was. It is not just colder than it is, it is colder than it was. "Be" sort of carries the idea of something that is now. Obviously, the phrase "used to" makes up for it. But saying it my way emphasizes the fact that non-cold weather exists only in the past and was extremely transient in nature. It didn't just "used to be," it "used to was." See the difference? I give you permission to use logically incoherent phraseology at least once today.
One off topic thing to touch on before I go. If you have any dreams involving me sitting on the roof enjoying the view while on acid and hiding from society, please do let me know. I don't know how, but I fear such visions may really concern me and my wellbeing. Friends let friends know about that kind of stuff.
No sleep no sleep no sleep no sleep
And no mad video machine to eat time
A city scene I can't explain
The Seine alone at 4am, the Seine alone at 4am
Neal and Jack and me
Absent lovers, absent lovers...
- King Crimson
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Updating an Item From Yesterday...
The platen glass is no longer dirty. I'm not sure what the cosmological significance of this is. I'm guessing somebody found some Windex. However, the copier is now requesting that I, "check the TCP/IP connection." Now that you mention it, I suppose my TCP/IP connection has been a little out of whack recently...
If I were as many miles from here
I'd be sailing on an open boat on the sea
Instead I'm on this window ledge
With the whole world below...
We can help you, we can help you!!
We're all your freinds
If you come on down and talk to us, Harry
Take a run and jump!!
- Genesis
The platen glass is no longer dirty. I'm not sure what the cosmological significance of this is. I'm guessing somebody found some Windex. However, the copier is now requesting that I, "check the TCP/IP connection." Now that you mention it, I suppose my TCP/IP connection has been a little out of whack recently...
If I were as many miles from here
I'd be sailing on an open boat on the sea
Instead I'm on this window ledge
With the whole world below...
We can help you, we can help you!!
We're all your freinds
If you come on down and talk to us, Harry
Take a run and jump!!
- Genesis
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Phrase of the Day and Riddle of the Week
“The platen glass is dirty”
Why do I feel like there is a deeper philosophical meaning behind this statement? Every time I go to make copies in the office, I am greeted by this phrase. It begs the question, why has no one cleaned the platen glass? Maybe it alludes to the reality of things which were once meant to be good, functional, and clean which have now become dirty and useless due to neglect or abuse. Is it an analogy for this sin stained world, which was once good and perfect, but which now can never be made clean apart from Divine intervention? Perhaps it is simply a testament to the tendency we have to coddle those imperfections in our personalities which hold us back from being all that we could be. Maybe the phrase is simply put their to mock us, and let us know that no matter how hard we try to clean something, it will inevitably become dirty again. But most telling, is the fact that no matter how many times I see that phrase flashing on the screen, I will never bother to clean the platen glass. Partly because I don’t feel it is my responsibility; mostly because I am too lazy. And then there is the cynical side of me that says even if I try cleaning the glass, the phrase probably still won’t go away. And so it will continue, until I become totally desensitized to the warning…
It’s time for my afternoon coffee.
Meanwhile, lurking by a stone in the mud
Two eyes looked to see
What I was, and then something spoke
And this is what it said to me…
Clothes of brass and hair of brown
Seldom need to breathe
Don't need no wings to fly
With a heart of stone
And a fear of fire and water
Who am I?
- Genesis
“The platen glass is dirty”
Why do I feel like there is a deeper philosophical meaning behind this statement? Every time I go to make copies in the office, I am greeted by this phrase. It begs the question, why has no one cleaned the platen glass? Maybe it alludes to the reality of things which were once meant to be good, functional, and clean which have now become dirty and useless due to neglect or abuse. Is it an analogy for this sin stained world, which was once good and perfect, but which now can never be made clean apart from Divine intervention? Perhaps it is simply a testament to the tendency we have to coddle those imperfections in our personalities which hold us back from being all that we could be. Maybe the phrase is simply put their to mock us, and let us know that no matter how hard we try to clean something, it will inevitably become dirty again. But most telling, is the fact that no matter how many times I see that phrase flashing on the screen, I will never bother to clean the platen glass. Partly because I don’t feel it is my responsibility; mostly because I am too lazy. And then there is the cynical side of me that says even if I try cleaning the glass, the phrase probably still won’t go away. And so it will continue, until I become totally desensitized to the warning…
It’s time for my afternoon coffee.
Meanwhile, lurking by a stone in the mud
Two eyes looked to see
What I was, and then something spoke
And this is what it said to me…
Clothes of brass and hair of brown
Seldom need to breathe
Don't need no wings to fly
With a heart of stone
And a fear of fire and water
Who am I?
- Genesis
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
One Last Great Summer Blockbuster
Little to tell you this fine late summer morning. I will say that getting 8.5 hours of sleep in a night is infinitely better than getting 5.5.
The other night Nathan and I watched the longer than I remembered it as a kid but still pretty funny No Time for Sergeants starring Andy Griffith. A couple observations:
1. Griffith's character, Will Stockdale, possesses super human strength and is no mere mortal, ripping gas pumps apart with his bare hands, throwing other GIs around the room like bowling balls, and guzzling whiskey, scotch, and kerosene like it was grape juice.
2. Private Ben Whitledge is Taylor Wilson, for all of you Twin Lakers. "Airman!!"
3. If this movie has any basis in reality, then our military is filthy with corruption at every level. There is a Sergeant who breaks regulations by creating the position of "Permanent Latrine Orderly" and then bribes said PLO in order to avoid reprimand. There are the Generals who transfer soldiers out of their division under cover of darkness to cover up the truth. There are soldiers sleeping on the job, and deserters who abandon their post at the first sign of danger. This explains why we lost in Vietnam.
"End of the story he gets the pony anyhow."
And be on the lookout for the new film Lost in Criticism, possibly coming in September to a theater near you...
~ Taken from The Newsletter of Joy ~
...Lost in Criticism, the new film starring Daniel Shaw and John Aaron Johnson who also wrote, directed, and produced the film in the space of six days. When two famous 19th century literary figures get caught in the afterlife, things begin heating up as Oscar Wilde (Johnson) becomes lost in a maze of modern literary criticism. This is the story of two unlikely partners who become fast friends in the midst of hidden perils and pernicious critics. Can Melville (Shaw) find Wilde in time? Will they escape before they and their texts are lost for good? Can Wilde win the hand of the woman he loves? Careful--You might never find your way out!
Hear what the movie critics are saying about this new suspense-filled action adventure romantic thriller comedy drama:
"Post-postmodern. A luminescent, incendiary piece of cinema and artistry." - Andrew Hilleke
"A sexy new thriller. Captivating, breathtaking. A scintillating toure-de-force of film-making." - Lydia Goeglein
"Due to this movie, my winter is no longer discontent." - Michael Phillips
"A triumph of the human spirit." - Dr. Edwin McAllister
"I loved this movie." - John Aaron's mom
(Used without permission from Daniel W. Shaw - i.e. free publicity)
Thursday, August 10, 2006
And Then the Rains Came
After spending the last week swimming in humidity, something had to give. Last night it did. Blessed rain!! The temperature dropped about 30 degrees and is now at a reasonable 73. Massive downpours and lightning are pretty sweet when you think about it (provided you have adequate shelter, I was walking/running home when it hit). But the best part was that I managed to catch an incredible sunset after the storm. One half of the sky was all layers of red clouds, and the other half, still dominated by the storm, was black with the occasional streak of lightning. Pretty cool stuff.
You can do a lot in a lifetime
If you don't burn out too fast
You can make the most of the distance
First you need endurance -
First you've got to last...
From first to last
The peak is never passed
Something always fires the light
That gets in your eyes
One moment's high
And glory rolls on by
Like a streak of lightening
That flashes and fades
In the summer sky
- Neil Peart (from Marathon)
After spending the last week swimming in humidity, something had to give. Last night it did. Blessed rain!! The temperature dropped about 30 degrees and is now at a reasonable 73. Massive downpours and lightning are pretty sweet when you think about it (provided you have adequate shelter, I was walking/running home when it hit). But the best part was that I managed to catch an incredible sunset after the storm. One half of the sky was all layers of red clouds, and the other half, still dominated by the storm, was black with the occasional streak of lightning. Pretty cool stuff.
You can do a lot in a lifetime
If you don't burn out too fast
You can make the most of the distance
First you need endurance -
First you've got to last...
From first to last
The peak is never passed
Something always fires the light
That gets in your eyes
One moment's high
And glory rolls on by
Like a streak of lightening
That flashes and fades
In the summer sky
- Neil Peart (from Marathon)
Monday, July 31, 2006
For a Moment of Forgetting... (Musings on Materialism)
To paraphrase Glenn Phillips, we've all got a lot to be thankful for. Some mornings you don't wake up feeling too thankful. Isn't it odd then, that an icecream cone and a chocolate cookie can suddenly make you feel better when you're feeling low? Conversely, eating an icecream cone and a cookie can ruin your chargrilled chicken sandwich. Had to eat the cone before it melted...
I listened to Peter Gabriel on the way into work this morning, and got hit by these lines. We're all so alike...
I caught sight of my reflection, I saw it in the window
I saw the darkness in my heart
I saw the signs of my undoing, they had been there from the start
Of a million unheard souls
Watch each one reach for creature comforts
For the filling of their holes
... To paraphrase (more like read into) Chris Cornell, I can have the Wooden Jesus of materialism and "spend all my money on a future grave" or the real thing and be satisfied. I shouldn't quite be so much like everyone else.
To paraphrase Glenn Phillips, we've all got a lot to be thankful for. Some mornings you don't wake up feeling too thankful. Isn't it odd then, that an icecream cone and a chocolate cookie can suddenly make you feel better when you're feeling low? Conversely, eating an icecream cone and a cookie can ruin your chargrilled chicken sandwich. Had to eat the cone before it melted...
I listened to Peter Gabriel on the way into work this morning, and got hit by these lines. We're all so alike...
I caught sight of my reflection, I saw it in the window
I saw the darkness in my heart
I saw the signs of my undoing, they had been there from the start
And the darkness still has work to do, the knotted chords untying
The heated and the holy, oh they’re sitting there on high
So secure in everything they’re buying
Of a million unheard souls
Watch each one reach for creature comforts
For the filling of their holes
... To paraphrase (more like read into) Chris Cornell, I can have the Wooden Jesus of materialism and "spend all my money on a future grave" or the real thing and be satisfied. I shouldn't quite be so much like everyone else.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
I Had A Dream...
Do people still read this thing? We'll find out I guess.
So I had this dream last night with Dr. Sachs, the chair of the Belhaven music department, in it.
There was a record shop (they sold actual records) that I frequented. It was similar to Beebop on 55, only it was around the other side where Blockbuster is now. Apparently, it was owned by Dr. Sachs. Well, one night when I went to the store, it had been replaced by a Barnes and Nobles. The only records they had were these Shel Silverstine records (don’t know if Shel Silverstine ever made a record…). While I was brousing the store, I got a call on my cell phone, which turned out to be Dr. Sachs…
Dr. Sachs was very upset. Apparently he went out of business on the account that I didn’t buy enough records. He felt that I owed it to him to be his friend, since it was my fault the store got bought out. I decided I better get back home before he showed up. He started following me around, and I got really creeped out (he was wearing a light blue cardigan the whole time). After I got home, I was really paranoid. He came and knocked on my front door, and I locked the door. Then somebody knocked on my backdoor. I let out a tremendous “NOOOOOO!!!!” and then I looked out the window. It was not Dr. Sachs, but Danny and Jon Aaron. I opened the door and told them to hurry up and come in, because Dr. Sachs was hanging around and I didn’t want him to get in. They stood there like complete morons, smiling and making Danny and Jon Aaron hand gestures. Just as Dr. Sachs started to force his way in the door, my alarm went off, and I awoke from my dream.
Pretty weird huh?
Earlier, I had dreamed that due to some sort of impending military strike in the area, which was somehow connected to the current conflict in Lebanon, Grant was organizing a militia (consisting of He, Page, the young-marrieds, and I) and was going to use the event as a foil to take the local Wal-Mart by force. It was his assertion that 1.) If we controlled Wal-Mart, we would have everything we needed to survive the war (or nuclear attack or whatever it was, can’t remember), and 2.) because it was the middle of a war, there would be no retribution for our actions. At first I went along with it, then I realized there was no way Grant and a bunch of us pencil necked geeks could take a Wal-Mart by force (although we were heavily armed for some reason). The whole thing fell apart in the end, but I can’t remember why…
All your spirit rack abuses
Come to haunt you back by day
All your Byzantine excuses
Given time, given you away
So don't be surprised when daylight comes
To find that memory prick your thumbs
You'll tell them where we run to hide
I'm already dead, it's a matter of time
- Marillion
Do people still read this thing? We'll find out I guess.
So I had this dream last night with Dr. Sachs, the chair of the Belhaven music department, in it.
There was a record shop (they sold actual records) that I frequented. It was similar to Beebop on 55, only it was around the other side where Blockbuster is now. Apparently, it was owned by Dr. Sachs. Well, one night when I went to the store, it had been replaced by a Barnes and Nobles. The only records they had were these Shel Silverstine records (don’t know if Shel Silverstine ever made a record…). While I was brousing the store, I got a call on my cell phone, which turned out to be Dr. Sachs…
Dr. Sachs was very upset. Apparently he went out of business on the account that I didn’t buy enough records. He felt that I owed it to him to be his friend, since it was my fault the store got bought out. I decided I better get back home before he showed up. He started following me around, and I got really creeped out (he was wearing a light blue cardigan the whole time). After I got home, I was really paranoid. He came and knocked on my front door, and I locked the door. Then somebody knocked on my backdoor. I let out a tremendous “NOOOOOO!!!!” and then I looked out the window. It was not Dr. Sachs, but Danny and Jon Aaron. I opened the door and told them to hurry up and come in, because Dr. Sachs was hanging around and I didn’t want him to get in. They stood there like complete morons, smiling and making Danny and Jon Aaron hand gestures. Just as Dr. Sachs started to force his way in the door, my alarm went off, and I awoke from my dream.
Pretty weird huh?
Earlier, I had dreamed that due to some sort of impending military strike in the area, which was somehow connected to the current conflict in Lebanon, Grant was organizing a militia (consisting of He, Page, the young-marrieds, and I) and was going to use the event as a foil to take the local Wal-Mart by force. It was his assertion that 1.) If we controlled Wal-Mart, we would have everything we needed to survive the war (or nuclear attack or whatever it was, can’t remember), and 2.) because it was the middle of a war, there would be no retribution for our actions. At first I went along with it, then I realized there was no way Grant and a bunch of us pencil necked geeks could take a Wal-Mart by force (although we were heavily armed for some reason). The whole thing fell apart in the end, but I can’t remember why…
All your spirit rack abuses
Come to haunt you back by day
All your Byzantine excuses
Given time, given you away
So don't be surprised when daylight comes
To find that memory prick your thumbs
You'll tell them where we run to hide
I'm already dead, it's a matter of time
- Marillion
Monday, June 26, 2006
I Was Gonna Post Something Serious...
But it just wasn't coming to me. However, I've made up for it by providing your entertainment for the week in the link below. There is a reason why Rush is one of the greatest bands ever. Aside from their music being great, they are just plain funny. Just watch this video and tell me you don't want to be Geddy Lee's best friend!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIeZBeUTOSY&search=Geddy
"Small children, and those worried about their brain..."
And a woman needs a man
Like a fish needs a bicycle
When you're trying to throw your arms around the world
- Bono
But it just wasn't coming to me. However, I've made up for it by providing your entertainment for the week in the link below. There is a reason why Rush is one of the greatest bands ever. Aside from their music being great, they are just plain funny. Just watch this video and tell me you don't want to be Geddy Lee's best friend!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIeZBeUTOSY&search=Geddy
"Small children, and those worried about their brain..."
And a woman needs a man
Like a fish needs a bicycle
When you're trying to throw your arms around the world
- Bono
Monday, June 12, 2006
70 Years Ago Yesterday...
The Orthodox Presbyterian Church was born. No, you are not the only perfect church, but you have been faithful to the word for seven decades. Happy Birthday OPC!!!
http://www.opc.org/today.html
The OPC's Founding Father, J. Gresham Machen. Swell Guy!!
How sweet and awful is the place
With Christ within the doors,
While everlasting love displays
The choicest of her stores.
While all our hearts and all our songs
Join to admire the feast,
Each of us cry, with thankful tongues,
"Lord, why was I a guest?
"Why was I made to hear thy voice,
And enter while there's room,
When thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come?"
'Twas the same love that spread the feast
That sweetly drew us in;
Else we had still refused to taste,
And perished in our sin.
Pity the nations, O our God,
Constrain the earth to come;
Send thy victorious Word abroad,
And bring the strangers home.
We long to see thy churches full,
That all the chosen race
May, with one voice and heart and soul,
Sing thy redeeming grace.
The Orthodox Presbyterian Church was born. No, you are not the only perfect church, but you have been faithful to the word for seven decades. Happy Birthday OPC!!!
http://www.opc.org/today.html
The OPC's Founding Father, J. Gresham Machen. Swell Guy!!
How sweet and awful is the place
With Christ within the doors,
While everlasting love displays
The choicest of her stores.
While all our hearts and all our songs
Join to admire the feast,
Each of us cry, with thankful tongues,
"Lord, why was I a guest?
"Why was I made to hear thy voice,
And enter while there's room,
When thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come?"
'Twas the same love that spread the feast
That sweetly drew us in;
Else we had still refused to taste,
And perished in our sin.
Pity the nations, O our God,
Constrain the earth to come;
Send thy victorious Word abroad,
And bring the strangers home.
We long to see thy churches full,
That all the chosen race
May, with one voice and heart and soul,
Sing thy redeeming grace.
Friday, June 09, 2006
It Started Out as Innocent Fun...
And Ended Up in Bloodshed...
OK, you can't really tell from the picture, but that my friends, is a lacerated chin. It resulted in an unspecified number of stitches, three hours in the ER, and a substantial medical bill. By the time it's all said and done, I will have the $1,000 chin to go with my $1,000,000 good looks.
The greatest tragedy here folks, is that I was definitely safe at home. I slid in right under that tag. Both catcher and runner tumbled to the ground. The ump was in no position to make the call. As it turned out, we lost by one measily run. Watch out Rhythm and Brewes, we will have our revenge...
So I've decided that this gives new meaning to the legend that is Brad's Beard. The immortal question of whether or not I will ever be able to grow a beard apart from some miracle of medical science seems to have been answered last night. In the words of Dr. Karl Hatten, Jr., "You used to grow hair here. You won't anymore." Little did he know, I never grew hair there. Ha!!!! Jokes on you Hatten!!
For a long time I felt
Without style or grace
Wearing shoes with no socks
In cold weather
- Talking Heads
And Ended Up in Bloodshed...
OK, you can't really tell from the picture, but that my friends, is a lacerated chin. It resulted in an unspecified number of stitches, three hours in the ER, and a substantial medical bill. By the time it's all said and done, I will have the $1,000 chin to go with my $1,000,000 good looks.
The greatest tragedy here folks, is that I was definitely safe at home. I slid in right under that tag. Both catcher and runner tumbled to the ground. The ump was in no position to make the call. As it turned out, we lost by one measily run. Watch out Rhythm and Brewes, we will have our revenge...
So I've decided that this gives new meaning to the legend that is Brad's Beard. The immortal question of whether or not I will ever be able to grow a beard apart from some miracle of medical science seems to have been answered last night. In the words of Dr. Karl Hatten, Jr., "You used to grow hair here. You won't anymore." Little did he know, I never grew hair there. Ha!!!! Jokes on you Hatten!!
For a long time I felt
Without style or grace
Wearing shoes with no socks
In cold weather
- Talking Heads
Hmmm.... what is this formatting stuff? Script? Obviously this is not blogging for dummies over here.
Well, this is the sequal to www.xanga.com/theaveragebrad. Don't know which one I'll end up using. It is actually the third in a series of blogs which I have had entitled "The Average Brad," but the original The Average Brad was more of a prequal than a first version. A prototype if you will. Oh, it still exists, but you will never know where...
There is exciting news about my chin, and I'd like to share it with all of you, but I'm waiting for the pictures. Thursday, June 8, 2006 was an historic day in the life of Brad's Beard. It may never be the same...
I was safe I tell you.
Cause I'm the one who knows what scares you
I'm the one who loves you best
I'm the thirteenth at the table
I'm the uninvited guest
I'm the Banquo at your banquet
I'm the cuckoo in your nest
I'm your fifteen-stone first-footer
I'm the uninvited guest
- Marillion
Well, this is the sequal to www.xanga.com/theaveragebrad. Don't know which one I'll end up using. It is actually the third in a series of blogs which I have had entitled "The Average Brad," but the original The Average Brad was more of a prequal than a first version. A prototype if you will. Oh, it still exists, but you will never know where...
There is exciting news about my chin, and I'd like to share it with all of you, but I'm waiting for the pictures. Thursday, June 8, 2006 was an historic day in the life of Brad's Beard. It may never be the same...
I was safe I tell you.
Cause I'm the one who knows what scares you
I'm the one who loves you best
I'm the thirteenth at the table
I'm the uninvited guest
I'm the Banquo at your banquet
I'm the cuckoo in your nest
I'm your fifteen-stone first-footer
I'm the uninvited guest
- Marillion
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